Monsters under the bed

It's 2:49 a.m. and of course I have to work tomorrow. Why am I still awake? I really don't know but it's not unusual. I have nights where I am exhausted but feel this overwhelming sense that if I go to sleep something bad is going to happen. On these nights I usually stay awake until my body just can't take it anymore and I fall asleep on my own. I know that makes me sound a little bit insane and maybe it's too much information for my fairly goofy blog but I'm writing it anyways. Maybe tomorrow I will decide it's bad to blog in the middle of the night.

I have weird anxiety about a lot of things in my life. I stress out about everything and in general I am just a nervous person. I tend to think that I hide it pretty well but once someone knows me long enough I think it becomes pretty clear that I'm a worrier. Some of my anxieties are pretty common. Flying, going to the dentist, walking alone late at night. But others are just plain bizarre and ridiculous. Luckily I can usually identify when I'm being un reasonable and my anxiety doesn't stop me from doing anything (except sleeping apparently).

Despite all this underlying tension I don't seem to have any anxiety when it comes to huge life decisions. I had no qualms about going to college half way across the country from my family or moving to New York City in a recession with no job or choosing a career (or maybe i should say "career" since right now it's a hypothetical career) in musical theatre. My anxiety priorities seem to be out of whack.

I think writing this entry just made me 100 percent more sleepy than I was when I started. Maybe this will be my new 'can't go to sleep' activity. I promise I won't write any more entries like this and continue to blog about reality TV and clothes I want to buy. Nite nite.